In the Quiet...

In the quiet, I walk from room to room, picking up little shirts...a mismatched pair of socks, a book, a small stuff animal...

I feel my babies.

I smell them.

I walk outside, barefoot...checking on him working in the garden.

I pass under the tree that just a month ago was covered in blooms, and i look up. 

My eyes shine and a smile spreads across my face when I discover a small fruit.

A crabapple. 

My mind goes back to one of the happiest times of my life, the summer my grandpa was near me and spent a few days at my house with , then, just me and my two diapered babies. We made crabapple butter together and took long drives through the country. He made me stop the car so he could pick me wildflowers. 

I thank God for this surprise...that I would find a house, in the middle of winter, that secretly would hold a beautiful reminder of a light filled memory. 

I keep walking.

The sun is slipping down, it's shining through the pine trees at the far end of the yard. I look at our "center tree" heavy with little berries. I don't know what they are, but they are beautiful. 

Then I find him, laying there, a man content.

I smile.

It's a beautiful moment and I have my camera. 

It's a love moment...where every second of the minute is full of only good.

The sky is glowing with color. 

My heart is full.

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* The next morning while I was gone for groceries my little squirrel and her great big dad surprised me with my garden gate - exactly how I had pictured it. Zac had the idea to cut out a heart for the gate handle, so little miss drew it on...the perfect non symmetrical heart ... and he cut it out. I'm still not sure which cheery color to paint it - a light blue or bright yellow? Green? *

7 Steps To a More Beautiful Life

1.

Love all life. 

Cherish every single life, no exceptions.

Love people without judgment. Love the poor, love the rich, love the unkind and the kind. Love.

Love the trees...love the flowers...see the worth in animals. 

Watch the bumble bees and be grateful for their hard work...if it wasn't for them we wouldn't have apple blossoms or sticky sweet honey. Spring would be empty and lifeless if it wasn't for their diligence.  Listen to the bird's sweet, haunting calls to each other. Remember that God sees the sparrow and takes notice of them and cares for them - live this way. Life is a gift. 

Love all life.

2.

See Art Intentionally.

When you look at the sky don't just see blue. See an ocean. See depth. Notice the shadows of the clouds. See color. Look at a tree and pretend you are taking a mental picture of it ... frame the branches. Seeing art nurtures gratitude and makes us more aware of perception. Seeing art can help you grow. Seeing art can make one flexible.

3.

Do it Today.

There are a lot of things in my life I want to try. Yes...not everything can be done today. If I wanted to skydive...I couldn't just call a taxi and have them tote me off to some field where an airplane and instructor would be waiting. Maybe I can't actually jump today, but I can plan the jump. I can prepare for the jump. Maybe I can't take a painting class today but I can still paint. Will it be perfect and will I know what I'm doing? Probably not. But I can try. I can't play a piano today because I don't own one, but I can start teaching myself to read music...I can watch tutorials online. I can listen to beautiful pieces on the radio. Maybe you can't leave the kids and go for a long jog ... can you dance in the living room with them and get your heart rate up? Do it today. Don't wait. 

4.

Say Thank You.

When something good comes your way, have gratitude. If you happen to be driving down the road and you see an accident in the other lane, thank God that you are okay (maybe say a prayer for the ones involved.) If your electricity bill is lower this month...say thank you. Any good thing that comes in life...whether it be a warm meal or a great deal on something you've been wanting ... say thank you. This simple act will instill gratitude and will change your thinking ... things that you use to take for granted will become gifts. 

Everyone likes presents ... why not give them to yourself everyday?

5.

Start rituals.

Light candles...have a favorite scent. I love to put lavender in my diffuser at night. Zen Radio is my favorite station on Pandora - as soon as I push play I start to feel calm. Wash your face in the evenings ... take care of your skin. Take time to really care for your teeth ...actually floss. Establishing rituals helps you to take better care of yourself and yours...it signals the brain that you belong. Rituals bring structure. In a busy world, structure in our homes is essential.

6.

Appreciate Simple

Rice and beans, cucumbers with a little dill, slices of tomato sprinkled with salt. Simple. Your body understands simple ... it loves to know what it's dealing with. When you eat an apple your cells clap and cheer because they know exactly where to send those nutrients. When you squeeze some fresh lemon into water or grate some ginger into a tea you reap the benefits not only from the complex SIMPLE nutrients but also from the natural oils. Using ingredients that take no prep except maybe to peel or to slice frees you up to do other things, it costs less money generally speaking, and it instills in you gratitude for the things that were made perfectly by the Creator. 

7.

Love You.

Maybe those two words bother you...maybe you find them selfish. I know, I know "but we are suppose to focus on others, not ourselves. We are to live selflessly." Yes and yes again. However, you will never be able to love others if you can't love yourself. If you are critical of you, you will naturally be critical of others. If you see your flaws, you will see all of theirs. 

For me, looking in the mirror and loving what I see is a challenge. Looking inside and loving what is represented in my soul can be a challenge. But when I really stop and dissect who I am as a person...I'm kind, I'm nurturing ... I can be funny. I have strong legs and freckles on my shoulders. Today I found a freckle in my eye...right below my iris and I felt special, different. There are things about me that are lovable, that are valuable. 

 There are always things you can love about yourself. If it's a foreign concept for you ... start by saying things like "thank you for my eyes that can see " and "I have strong arms that can carry my sweet baby" or "my hair shines in the sun." Start noticing simple things about yourself...then be thankful for them and start loving them. Love yourself as the One that made you does. 

“whatever you do
be gentle with yourself.
you don’t just live
in this world
or your home
or your skin.
you also live
in someone’s eyes.” 
― Sanober Khan

I Love

“what if we intentionally make the most of every day we receive?” 
― Kim Cash Tate, Hidden Blessings

I called and I called for her and there was no answer...

 ... my squirrel had found a tree to rest in. 

I couldn't think of a better use for a tree-house. It's rare to find my children asleep in the middle of the day, I love the privilege of being able to see sleeping children. There is nothing sweeter then a rested soul. 

I love visiting the rooms of our little house, finding other little houses full of other little lives. 

I love spotting signs of imagination. 

I love walking outside and finding a new flower...one that I didn't plant...in full bloom in my very own backyard. Anyone know what kind this is? I love flowers but sadly haven't been properly introduced to most of them. 

I love finding new uses for old things. 

I love remembering that I am crafty. I love pretending that I'm a newlywed and making myself a wedding gift in an afternoon. This one just needs a frame...

I love figuring things out. I love accenting words in gold. I love my kids coming up and saying "oh wow, you are such a good painter! Will you give me lessons?" My littles always making me feel talented in my simple creations - as if I could "charge" them for formal lessons. I simply say "I will show you what I know" for that's the best any of us can do for another isn't it? 

I love coming across an old photo and realizing that all of those long days at home, isolated with my four little kids,  when I felt/feel like I couldn't keep up and longed for an adult conversation - I was never alone. Instead, I was blessed tremendously. 

End of summer...almost! ~musings~

Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

Hans Christian Andersen 

The weather here in Colorado has been glorious. Early mornings are crisp...a little taste of the soon to be fall weather. The days are sunny, warm,  and I'm noticing...a tad bit shorter. The planner in me is already getting together a list of autumn themed crafts and recipes to make mid September - I'm SO excited for fall this year! 

First of all, I will be turning the big (well, not really so very big) 30 next month. I feel like I have been waiting for 30 my entire life - it has always been my dream age. No more explaining to people why I am in my mid 20's with oodles of children (I had four kids under five by the time I was 26.)

 Yes, now if someone says "wow, you have a lot of kids for your age" I can confidently say "well, I am in my 30's."

 I think 30 is a confident number - it sounds like it knows what it's doing. I feel like 30 likes it's personality and it's hair and it's body type. I'm going to really like being 30. 

 My second reason for being excited for September is that Zac told me to sign up for the women's retreat at our church - last time I was away completely ALONE without either husband or a baby on my hip was almost 11 years ago. I probably wouldn't have been so eager to say "yes" to going if the retreat wasn't going to be hosted at a gorgeous facility in Estes Park. Friends to be made, sleep (if I'm not up laughing and drinking cooca all night), not having to share my food,  and gold aspens are calling my name. I'm completely stoked. 

With that being said, I feel like at least half of the projects I wanted to complete this summer never got done. I never planted flowers in the kids little flower boxes, I have at least 20 crafts that I didn't get around to... several hikes that never got hiked. Lots of things. Maybe that's the problem with lists - you can look back on them and feel bad about what you didn't get accomplished. At the same time, you can look back at all of the things you crossed off and feel pretty terrific. 

I'm choosing to feel terrific. Maybe not everything got done, but I can honestly say that we have been active, we have been pursuing creativity, the kids are learning to work as a team and to help around the house - and we are giving them opportunities to be big. 

I'm letting them make their own food, sweep floors, fold laundry....sand chairs and spray paint them! I'm letting go and in the mean time letting my kids be. It's been pretty wonderful to see all of the things they are capable of doing if they have the opportunity to do them. This summer has been a time of transition for our family. Our last baby became a preschooler, we have found ways to interact and connect with our Brady, Trinity has become an awesome reader and LOVES art...has finally made a few friends and can wash dishes as well as me, clean a room almost better then me - plain and simple...she's a little 6 year old grown up. Tristan has begun "pretend play" with his big sister which is a big step for a child on the spectrum - and most of all, he seems to enjoy it. This is the first season of my life that I actually actually see that my kids are growing up. Even though our littles are still little, I have had a glimpse, a taste, of life with older children. 

I love seeing my littles figure things out. I love seeing ideas "click." I love watching them grow. 

So with the end of August just around the bend, I'm going to squeeze as much as I can out of the remainder of summer. We will use up the flowers, we will be barefoot, we will eat one to many smores and replace meals with cold smoothies. We will play a little longer outside in the evenings, we will feed the birds in our yard, we will try to go for long walks every week (our last walk we found 10 baby toads!) Our littles will climb trees, kick soccer balls, gobble up as many blueberries and grapes as humanly possible....

...and I will start sorting clothes into "too small" piles. I will start collecting warm sweaters and rain boots for 6 pairs of feet. I will buy pumpkin and apples and stock up on hot teas. I will have echinacea ready and elderberry syrup handy. Time will keep ticking on...lists will keep being made and items crossed off - but my goal will remain the same in each season :

to find light in eight blue eyes.

Morning, Noon, and Night ( A little late)

9 am ... a not so little boy asked me if he could do a craft. He worked hard for over two hours researching soccer jerseys and creating his own with a white shirt and some sharpies. 

3 pm - Zac and I cut the boys bunk beds in half (well, not quite half) and created our own Ikea hack! 

I haven't finished the room yet but wanted to show their little cubby hideout. 

6:30 pm ... a cool breeze through our window (feels like fall today), dinner eaten, dishes washed, and Daddy's turn to play X box with one of his biggest fans. 

*note for all mom's reading my blog - these are the moments today I decided to capture on camera. We are real people - there were plenty of dirty dishes, arguments between siblings, and scraped knees. It's nice knowing that even though everyday isn't perfect, there are always moments of beauty to be found (if looked for) and ALWAYS moments to give thanks for. *

Second Hand Treasures Saturday

Before I begin this post I would like to make one thing perfectly clear , not all of these thrifted treasures are from just one shopping spree. I would never buy out a thrift store...no not me (ahem.) No, seriously though, these items are all from the last month and I share them because... 

a. the feeling of paying pennies for gorgeous items feel like robbery (yet you get away with it)

b. buying items USED when you can saves lots of cha ching $$$$$

c. I have very eclectic taste so thrift stores serve me well

d. it's just plain fun to show deals and steals (and I don't really have anyone to share them with in person...besides my, errrr...little family - and that just doesn't do.)

Steal number one - a lovely pine desk (i think originally from Ikea.) I love it in this space in our bedroom, right under the window where I have lots of light. I have set one half of our room up so that I can have a quiet place to send kids when they are doing workbooks (our little boys are rather loud and there is NO way possible to concentrate on ANYTHING when they are running circles and diving off the couch. Our little bedroom space has served us well these last two weeks. ) I think the desk was 10 bucks and that chair I got at a yard sale for five dollars last year - it has an awesome yellow green velvet seat - pretty sure it's from the 70's. I can do yoga in this room and look at my peaceful white orchid, study and write at my modern Ikea desk while sitting in my flower child chair. Perfection.

I found this little framed piece of art this afternoon - it's signed by the artist from Norway and the back still had the sheet of paper that tells about the city (Bergen) and this one particular building called the Bryggen and a tram system that went my it - I guess the Bryggen at one point was one of the most complex wooden buildings in the world.  Love the frame, love the mat, love the colors. 

LOVE. IT. SO. MUCH. 

We didn't go to a beach this summer ...therefor a bag of shells so we can pretend we did. Trinity was in heaven feeling all of the textures and running her fingers over the pastel shells. Perhaps I can find a little kids craft for them?

I found the perfect basket to go in our little reading nook. I confess, I have a basket fetish - the more the better in my book. Baskets just scream of gypsy weavers sitting by a dirt road perfecting their art...or a time long ago when a young girl would head out for the orchards, a basket on her hip and a bonnet on her head, eager to collect  a quart of apples for her baking day. Yes, I just love me some baskets. 

This one in particular is very heavy duty and has two perfect handles on either side - we have named it "Our Library Basket " (catchy isn't it? Almost as original as naming your bird Sweetie.)

Now don't laugh - I found this man's coat and it was a size small so I decided it would work for me. I don't have a lined coat for these Colorado winters and have decided that it's going to be a MUST to find a good one this year. This denim one will do the trick for awhile. 

Found this little gorgeous red number for my gingerbread girl (check out her tan!) 

...a rocky horse for Finn - several people watching me come out of the thrift store were green with envy...I guess rocking horses are high in demand these days? One man stopped me and says "found yourself a little rocking horse did ya?" I told him (obviously) "why yes I did, isn't he cute?" The man says back " he sure is and seems to be in good condition." I told him that I thought it was in perfect condition and went on my way ...realizing later that I probably could have sold it to him for a profit if I had wanted to. Next time...maybe next time. 

For my Tristan...a pair of under armour cleats...

...and some fireman boots. As long as a boy has some shoes to play soccer in and some boots to fight fire you're set in our family. 

If you would like to play along on Second Hand Treasures Saturday post on your blog, link back to me and let me know! I would love to ooh and ahh over your steals. 

Feeling Thankful ... 

Alyssa Spring

Oh For Joy

Oh for joy, a sunny day, a plate of goods....happy snacks that turn into a geography and cultural lesson because I have...well...

This guy. The wonderful brain, the curious cat, this simply hilarious boy. Oh for joy ....

Friendships, sibling hood, bright blues and butterflies, smirks and long hair - oh for joy!

Beauty is ordinary yet unique, simple yet extraordinary. Beauty is plain, is perfect. Beauty can abound in anything as long as you see it as beautiful. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder... and that is something to be glad for. Joy. 

First rosebuds of the seasons, symmetry and asymmetry (I looked that up) , pink and greens and clear and white...bumpy and smooth, closed in darkness and  far away light. Oh for joy! 

Sprouts, beginnings....

Purples and blooms...endings. Purple is happy, is daring...is rich.  

Angels all around me...across the dinner table, in the bathtub, in the crook of my arm, under my feet, on my shoulders....running in my backyard - joy!

Children dancing, twirling, giggling angels - full of acceptance, full of grace, full of love .....

...full of energy, light on their toes

...singing, tagging, dancing, tiptoeing through summer grass, feeling happy, feeling free, feeling loved and funny and creative and blessed, brimming bursting with one simple yet complicated thing...

JOY