Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Present

I'm becoming addicted to the desert sun. 
I've told Zac for the last year that someday...I want to live on an island.
I want to walk barefoot,
skin dewy and hair windblown
along shores and feel the strength of the ocean.
I want to sift sand between my fingers,
the rush of wave sound crashing through my pores.
I want to plant bananas
eat coconut
live off mangoes. 
Mostly, I want to be close to the senses.

One can dream.

But then,
 what's so lovely about dreams is that we can have a portion of them in the present,
if we look and accept and become open,
we already can have our dreams.

I may not walk barefoot around the rockies,
but I can wear a sturdy sandal and still feel free.
The sun is just as bright here as it is on an island...
it's the same sun,

I already have what I want.

I may not grow bananas,
but I can grow up children,
beautiful little beauties full of golden goodness.
Maybe not from a tree, but my freezer is stocked with frozen fruit,
and at this moment, I have 6 bunches of spotted bananas on my counter.
My dreams are reality if I make them that.

When I crave a soft pink sunset,
I can clutch a bit of rose quartz,
stare into shimmery angles
and get lost in my mind and my memories.
I can remember the sunsets of yesterday...
so today I have them.

 I re potted my beloved snake plant this morning,
giving it a little scoop of earthworm castings and a nice long drink.
My hands were deep in dirt and microbes and botanical nutrients
and a little piece of my soul said
"You have what you want."

The air this morning was so still, the sky so blue that it felt like an early spring.
I was headed down to the garden when I found my two oldest boys in this position...
together, watching clouds...close to the earth, grounded.
My heart whispered
"You already have what you want."

In the garden, raised beds on either side of me, I worked.
I loosened soil and mixed in compost
preparing for the spring
helping the earth do what it does...
Did you know that under the ground is the beautiful connect microscopic world?
Have you seen pictures of the cells in earth? 

I wasn't able to be out there long...there wasn't much to do as it's still winter.
Closing the gate, knowing that it wasn't time to drop seeds into the soil,
walking away,
knowing there will be a time when the door is wide open
and I'll be surrounded by the miracle of plants.
I have a deep love for nature.
It's the connection, seeing how it all works together,
to create harmony.
I feel direct access to the One when I smell pine,
when I dig in the ground,
when I see a lady bug crawl or a bee hum,
I know He is there.
What's more is I know it's His art, His protection, His gift. 
When I smell the sun baking the earth, I smell Him. 
Maybe that's why I want to smell the salt air so badly...
because I want access to all parts of the Divine at all times. 
 I can wrap my arms around a tree and know without questions that it's powerful,
I feel Him.

I walked away from the garden 
knowing that I have exactly what I need.

It's been a perfect morning for me,
being deep in my thoughts, 
realizing that each moment of the day is mine.

Good things have come...
gifts of essential oils from a friend,
(am I the only one that feels like I own the earth when I'm holding a bottle of oil?)
bird song, and rolled oats topped with coconut and banana.

My children all played "castle" this morning while
I drank coffee and watched a beautiful documentary.
I love starting my day with inspiration.
 Sitting there for those 90 minutes,
my mind transported somewhere else yet my soul staying where I am
my heart having gratitude for who I am 
I realized that I'm the one who determines if the dream has come true.

It has.

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