When Life Gives You Apples...

When life gives you apples...

Make mini apple pies...

...then enjoy the crumbly crust smiles. 

Bananas and Peanut Butter

  What does sprouted sourdough bread, natural peanut butter....

and BANANAS have in common? 

You'll never guess...

why...the KING of course :)

  My kids have been on a sandwich binge as of late. I'm not a huge fan of eating bread...but I did come across a sale at Sprouts for some sprouted sourdough - it looked too good to pass up. This afternoon I surprised the kids with grilled banana peanut butter sandwiches (Elvis Presley's favorite comfort food)  and a short "history" lesson on the King of Rock 'n' Roll (thank you tube.)

Kids feasted while we watched the music video Jailhouse Rock from 1957. Something that impresses me about music videos from way back when is how beautiful they are. They are simple yet artistic without a lot of "flash" ... Brayden was enchanted with the set and simple costumes ...Trinity liked the dancing and Elvis' handsome face. I liked everything. 

And, I may or may not have laid aside my normal fruit and salad lunch for one of these nutty numbers. They are truly delicious and nutritious and Elvis knew what he was on to. Move over grilled cheese. 

 I love being able to have my mornings as "mornings" ...coffee, cleaning, playing - and then our learning time more around lunch and mid afternoon. It's nice being able to get done what we want to get done first (well, kids didn't enjoy cleaning toilets much this morning or scrubbing my baseboards, but hey?! why have a small army if you can't use your men?!) and then on too our learning. I feel less rushed this way, and I think our kids do well getting out their energy first, then focusing on books and lessons when they feel calm.
 Now, to try and coerce Trinity to snarl her lip and say "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog baby" one more time...

For The Sake of Trees...and Learning

“Education is a system of imposed ignorance.” 

― Noam Chomsky, Manufacturing Consent: The Political Economy of the Mass Media

  Koala and Bug, my littlest littles are not so little anymore. Finn will be three in 4 months and I will be officially without a baby (or a toddler for that matter.) The more time that passes in this school year the more happy I am with our decision to homeschool. I didn't really believe I would feel this way - I thought I would be ready to pull my hair out and to throw in the towel. Me? Capable of actually teaching children to read and write and add and subtract...and learn about planets and plants and stars and volcanoes and kangaroos and the government?! Well, looks like I can because ....shhhh...it's a secret...they kind of teach themselves. Yep...that's my secret. Shocker. Being relaxed seems to be working for now ... and really, everyday in life there are opportunities to learn - it doesn't have to come from a book.

For Instance....

 Finding a man up in a tree with a chainsaw. As if North Aurora had too many trees or something - ,yah, they took it down. No, they didn't just trim off the dead branches. Just one less blooming tree in spring, less shade in summer, no more orange leaves across from my back porch in fall - one less tree.
    Now, I'm not a tree expert but I have done my fair share in helping to load firewood...which included going with my entire family into the woods, my dad with chainsaw in hand....and he would walk around until he found a dead tree...timber!!!!...and we would all help load up the logs in the back of the truck. This tree they cut down was not dead. So... a lovely lesson in why we needs trees, why we love trees...why the city may have felt that the tree was unsafe (we've been having pretty strong winds today) and then, alas, why if we're going to climb that high up in a tree, why we should be harnessed with a helmet on. I'll save the chainsaw lessons for another day - currently we are just learning how to properly hold a knife. :)

“I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays and have things arranged for them that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas.” 
― Agatha Christie, An Autobiography

 Watching my kids climbing in the backyard today, playing tag ... having them "help" me with chores, making our beds together, sitting at the table and enjoying our lunch and good conversation made me feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom. It's not always perfect, I often feel isolated and when I give into self pity instead of thankfulness...I feel just a smidge "unimportant" in the grand scheme of the things. But, really, what a wonderful gift that I get to watch my kids be kids, that they truly need me and want me ... and teach me on a daily basis.

“There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi

Now..just to own the  "virtuous" part....

Hope your Monday was lovely,

~* Alyssa Spring *~

My Very Own Nerds

“If you like nerds, raise your hand. If you don't, raise your standards.” 

― Violet Haberdasher

I know I know... how can one possibly prepare themselves for such cuteness? 

Nerd Night at Awanas ... being surrounded by my bow tie, pen carrying, taped up glasses clad children. It was just too much. Too much adorableness. I mean, who doesn't love a nerd?!

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.” 

― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, or Add

 “That's the wonderful thing with nerds: they're enthusiasts. Not having a life means you get to love things with a passion and nobody bothers you about it.” 

― John Burnside, The Glister

 “Why is being a nerd bad? Saying I notice you’re a nerd is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Linsey Lohan. Why is that?” 
― John Green

December Recap

 
I missed half of December. Like, LITERALLY, missed it. The flu bug came to call and he stuck around for two weeks - it's mid January and I still have drainage (tmi) - it was nasty. We were hit, bombed...thrown down, hijacked....two days before Brady turned 8. I had big plans for his birthday...it didn't really happen.  He had fun, there was cake (thanks to a dear friend) and Brady received the gift of his dreams (an ipod for making his many mini movies ....say that ten times fast...) and then we laid around and did absolutely nothing.

 Thankfully Brady was a champ. He didn't mind us picking up take-out (his choice) and doing everything low key. We decorated the table and cake in a Pokemon theme, Brady's obsession at present ...along with Mario and Luigi and now he's been dressing up like Zelda for the last two weeks. I can't keep up, but I do my best.

Amidst (is that a word?)  the fevers and mucous and chills and body aches I somehow managed to do some holiday baking with the kids...

I had a little help this year. :) Trinity is just becoming a full blown BIG GIRL and can do things that I never know she can do...until she does them, and does them perfectly perfect - and then I kind of rub my eyes and can't believe this is reality...and then I feel a deep sense of relief and also nostalgia or something nice but bittersweet. Kind of like "I'm so glad baby stage is almost over but I love babies and WANT babies but I want sleep and potty trained kids and I'm tired and need a bit of relief from time to time...but I love babies...but I love being able to actually have conversations with my children." Yah, this stage of motherhood or womanhood is rather conflicting.

 
So, Christmas came and so did my parents... we had the bean dip, and the chocolate pretzels...the grandparents helped with gingerbread houses and meals and playing with kids....

And then our flu flew into them and they were struck down full force - Christmas Day.

 
It still turned out to be a nice Christmas even though I haven't the pictures or really my memory to prove it, just some fuzzy recollections that I don't know if they are reality or not.
It's okay, only 11 months until Christmas....

 Thankfully, the flu was gone and our 10 year anniversary came and Zac and I got a much needed two night get away. The last time we had had two nights alone was on our 5th anniversary when I was pregnant with Tristan. The key word being "pregnant" in that sentence...not a very comfortable trip. This getaway was much cozier in our little A frame cabin amidst the Evergreens and snow and wildlife.

 Ten years. Seems like a lot to people who have been married for 2 years, seems like not very much to those who have been married for 20. For us, it feels like we have always been together. I guess in reality we kind of have. It was a really nice time and it was quite refreshing knowing that we can still talk and have fun and connect.

My favorite part of our weekend was being able to have fire after fire. I miss fire. 

 Seeing him sit by the fire wasn't so bad either. 

  

Warming our feet by the fire wasn't unpleasant by any means....

 And then we drove back to the ghetto and to our children and our fenced back yard...it was perfect.
I loved being away, but I also love my life. I even like my neighborhood and that I definitely don't feel the need to "keep up with the Jones" here...by any means. I like my kids...LOVE my kids...and our rental house still to me doesn't feel like home, but it's comfortable and it's good for now. Home is where your heart is right? I'm not sure where my heart is .... but it's somewhere and someday I will find it. There's time. :)

 And not to be forgotten...we won hat night at Awanas and Brady made quite a show of it. It's nice having a son who isn't afraid to celebrate outwardly, someone who is proud of his accomplishments....

...it's also nice that hardly anyone knows me so I have a little more time to get "comfortable" with my son's outward celebrations. :) Hey, if you're happy and you know it shake your booty (or so says Brady.) And he does.

I love you

Bear with me.

My son is turning 8 in a couple of days. My beautiful blue eyed boy...with all of his freckles and curiosity and energy and love of Pokemon...he is going to be 8.

I rejoice that my baby has good health. I am happy that he is safe...that he is happy (I guess?) that he has a room of his own and legos. I'm happy that he gets his breakfast at 8 am ...if there were a nuclear attack Brady would make sure that he had his breakfast...amidst the fire and flames and terror...he would have his 8 o'clock breakfast. I'm also glad that he enjoys his 3 pm snack and his 6 pm dinner (as long as I am serving what he likes...if not he doesn't eat it and no one is worse for the wear.)

However, tonight I'm deeply sad.

"Goodnight Brady" I whispered...searching his face. He stared at the wall and raised his eyebrows "oh " he muttered and then made a noise, deep in his throat. "I love you" I said. He nodded and made the noise again, his eyes avoiding mine - I turned out the light and closed his door.

I want him to say "goodnight mom, I love you." I want that.

My boy is going to be 8 in a couple of days. To some people that is really young..to me it means i have about ten more years to help him learn to function in society...to greet people, to spread peanut butter on his bread, to say to someone who is sick "is there something I can get you?" instead of "your crying noises are annoying." I feel as if I'm working against the clock. I try to take one day at a time...but each day...I'm still greeted with a blank stare...a word or two about what kind of food we will be consuming, and the amazingness of Pokemon.

I love my child. I want to know that he loves me.

Perhaps I'm not sad - maybe I'm just impatient. I know he needs me...I know I make his world turn. I just want him to say it. Maybe someday he will meet a girl who will say "you know my love, your mom is really nice. Whenever we meet someone that is really nice and they help us a whole lot and love us, we tell them we love them. Maybe next time you see her you can say "uh, mom? I love you."

Maybe he will meet that girl and she will help him. Maybe he will learn it from a book? I don't care. I just want to hear it someday.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” 
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

It Will Be Christmas

We're decking the halls...bringing out the lights and wreathes, the handmade elf (on it's way to becoming a family heirloom) the snow globes and the ornaments of all shapes and sizes and glittery color - but more importantly we are preparing our hearts for the birth of our Precious Savior and what the gift of His life truly means for us....

  

Last year my Grandma Grace sent us her lovely nativity scene so it is our new tradition to first unwrap all of the delicate pieces...each one like a present all their own...and then we talk about what it would have been like that dark night so long ago...was it windy and cold or warm and balmy? Was the sky sparkling with diamond like stars or was it calm and quiet and dark .... if you listened closely could anyone hear the angels singing to the shepherds or was the choir song only for their ears? 

Christmas ... what a beautiful nostalgic time of the year. 

 “Christmas can be celebrated in the school room with pine trees, tinsel and reindeers, but there must be no mention of the man whose birthday is being celebrated. One wonders how a teacher would answer if a student asked why it was called Christmas.” 
― Ronald Reagan

We made the decision last year, when funds were quite tight, that we would use an artificial tree for the first time. I do miss going to the Christmas tree farm and finding the oh-so-perfect fir for our house, the cold noses and the mitten hands and the smell of earth in our house. But...thinking on the positives...this year I didn't have to pay for a tree at all, there is no mess to clean up...I don't have to try and wrangle 8 gloves on  8 little hands (that's a task in itself)... and the tree is still "tree like" in spirit although deep inside, I'm sure he knows he's a fake. 

The kids drank their customary cup of hot cocoa while the daddy figure twisted on the lights :)

  

Such a good man. This year we have been so blessed with extra work for Zac. He has worked a couple of side jobs stringing lights on rather large houses...with rather high roofs...risking life and limb ...for a rather pretty penny. We are blessed - the extra work has made it possible to give Brady a pretty special birthday gift in the next couple of weeks, paid for our Christmas and someone else's...God always shows His love for our family in such unexpected ways.

I gave each child their ornament for the year - they were elated and I was pleased with myself. I write the date and their names on the bottom of each ornament in hopes that when they are older they can take their own box of ornaments with them to their own homes. It's a sweet tradition and it's always fun picking out an ornament that represents their year or their personality. 

 “Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.” 
― Laura Ingalls Wilder

Since Trinity got to top the tree last year...Brady called "dibs" on the honor a few weeks ago ... he didn't forget. He said it would be Tristan's turn next year, then Finn's...and around and around we go until his turn again in the year 2017. 

I love trees that have themes or are color coordinated - but the more time that passes my favorite trees have become the ones that my kids decorate...the bunched up ornaments, the felt dinosaurs and the soccer balls and teddy bears, the bells and snow balls and all of the "baby's first Christmas" I have been given. After the kids are in bed at night and it's just me and the sparkling tree and a cup of tea, I look at the ornaments and smile and think of their little chubby hands running to the tree and almost throwing on all of the sparkle..hurrying to find out what the next ornament coming out of the box will be. I love the joy and delight and just thinking of it in the evenings makes me cry...like EVERY ...SINGLE...NIGHT! I just love my littles and this time of year. I didn't even have the heart to rearrange the tree....much. 

And then, as if Mother Nature knew that our tree was up...she brought in 8 inches or so of snow. So, we have been crafting and crafting and drinking cup of tea after cup of tea...cheese toast and apple slices...listening to Christmas Carols and wrapping gifts for others (some for ourselves. ) Trinity and I made little paper gingerbread men sprinkled with cinnamon...a fun cheap craft that we can hang from twine around our windows. 

We also dipped hands in paint, laid them flat on a paper...and then once the hand was dry each child was able to decorate their own "squad" of snowmen. I had some fake snow that they glued to the bottom of the paper...once again...a cheap craft that kids love. You can also do this idea on an ornament but it's a little bit trickier.

The stockings are hung ...I am loving Trinity's presents that she put under the tree. She spent about a hour in her room and came out with notebook and masking taped gifts for all ...I'm assuming little trinkets from her room? I love her giving spirit - not just during Christmas but all year long. Zac also loves to give gifts...there are a couple of cabinets in our house that are off limits to myself - my stocking is almost always stuffed beyond capacity. I've been known to give him a hard time about this in the past with "that's not in the budget" and "lets keep it simple and send money to homeless kids."

He says "yes" to sending the homeless kids money but "no" to my wanting him to not spend money on me. He likes to spoil me ... and i'm fine with that. Hey, someones gotta take care of me...might as well be a hunk. No complaints here. Make me a bath while you're at it.

 In case you are wondering, the giant star that you see is a paper star that I actually hung in that corner sometime ago...but I kept it there thinking it would just look like a reflection of the smaller star in front.

And what would be a snowy day without some sweet treat of sorts? I had some organic frozen peaches from Costco in the freezer so I mixed the kids up a cobbler...cinnamon oat goodness. 

Finn helped himself. And yes...I did try to dress him several times. He prefers to be "free." 

We made ornaments...which obviously requires great concentration and the tip of your tongue to be sticking out...as if it centers your mind or your balance or something special like that. 

Luigi learning to cook - working on those "life skills."

 “Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” 
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

 Here are our ornaments, catching some sun. I think they turned out cute, colorful , and childlike which is exactly what I was after. I think ornament making will have to be put on the "tradition" list...but next year we will need to start earlier so we can actually use them as gifts to others.
 

 It's still snowy outside but we are warm inside, waiting for our hero to come home (aka husband, father) and give us word of the outside world :)  I think he has a special surprise in store for the two older kids so I will stay in while Finn naps and sip tea and admire my tea (okay okay...and maybe fold some laundry while I'm admiring....) and I will think on my gifts that God gives to me everyday with my heath, my wealth, my little loves...a warm home with luxuries like heat and pots and pans, a cabinet of food, slippers and sweaters and black olives and soap and even paper towels when I'm not being "green" ... and I will thank Him for His Son and will try to not take my blessings for granted. 

“And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans--and all that lives and move upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused--and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.” 
― Sigrid Undset